writing stuff

i wonder sometimes if i should even bother writing in a journal anymore. i mean how do i know if that will ever get checked or read? & who will read it when im old or after i die? i remember writing whatever i felt ages ago in my journals without a worry. those wonderful journals are gone sadly enough (due to my dads anger rounds-many of my letters & journals were destroyed) but after getting married or a little time before that my writing had to be curbed. i could no longer write what i felt exactly as i was afraid that someone may discover it. i had to be careful. i started blogging a few years back. i remember sitting in my office in cafe noir & it was pouring outside. i decided that i should start journaling online as i was always around a computer. i havent stopped since. i do it at my convenience. & i have a very tiny audience (especially after losing my old blog address to the internet blogger world) but i dont mind. i rather share little as possible as it stays better that way. i just want a record of my life stuff & my ramblings. its nice to be able to vent sometimes. ive been an amateur writer ever since i was in the 2nd grade. i adored it. i dealt with hard things & feelings in general thru writing. i dont know huge words or am very good at it but all i know is that i enjoy it. so i do it. whenever i can.
anyhow random stuff:
i think that people that dont say things outloud in whatever way seem to suffer more than those that do. its bad to keep anything bottled up for too long (except for maybe a good bottle of wine). i think that people that are insecure owe that to their upbringing. insecurity is a bad asset to have. it outshines all other things. i think that the people that you let into your life are family, not just blood realtions. theres something that they are adding to your life, thats why god has introduced you to them.
i think that its easier to be nice than to be mean.
i also think its best to say sorry when you know youre wrong than to play it off.

some eid dinner pics at red room

eid mubarak

seriously eid mubarak to you.
may god grant us to be the best we can be.
may god grant jannat to the ones we've lost in our lives.
may god grant us a place in his kingdom as well.
may god grant us with a shower of all his blessings.
may god grant us inner peace.
may god grant us to be beautiful in more ways than a few.

eid morning

eid was spent calmly & nicely. went to the eid prayer & then had breakfast at dunkin' donuts.

thanksgiving food pics

thanksgiving dinner pics

happy happy thanksgiving day

as i sit here in my pjs & wait to put the turkey in the oven for tonites big dinner, i have a smile on my face. the house is clean & all guest bedrooms are filled with beds awaiting overnite guests so they can snooze in the comfy sheets. all the sides are prepared & even the dessert awaits in the fridge. my outfit for tonite is layed out on the bed & the living area looks tidy enough.
im so thankful for the state of mind im in. its calm, relaxed & unnerved. its nice to be this way.
i am thankful for so much this year. but most of all i am really really thankful for the wonderful people in my life. they all really are wonderful. my exsistence wouldnt be flavorful without them around. they shape & mold me. their love makes me whole.
i am thankful for my filled home, always a piece of work thru out the year, never fully done as i picture it to be but ive accepted it that way & i love it.
i am thankful for the bed i sleep in each nite, warm, familiar & always awaiting me.
i am thankful for clean white towels in my bathroom.
i am thankful for my mom, her attitude, her point of view on life, & her ways.
i am thankful for my dad, his attitude, his point of view on life, & his ways.
my brothers, theyre decent enough.
i am thankful for my daughter who keeps me busy in life & keeps me looking forward to the future. she makes time go by.
i am thankful for my husband, hes my rock, my partner in crime, my company at all times. what would i do at a party when i dont have anyone to talk to anymore without him. lol
i am thankful for my job(s), they help my days go by & teach me something new about people i would never have known otherwise.
i am thankful for this state of nc. its great living here & calling it home.
i am thankful for being alive & healthy & normal (well a little bit).
i am thankful that i dont go starved or dont have to worry about a bomb going off near me.
i am thankful for my friends that drop in & out of my life. they keep the time passing too.
i am thankful to be in this state of mind.

happy thanksgiving to you all. god is good.

check out my nc state fair page. i had it saved but didnt publish for a while
http://marspaialways3.blogspot.com/2009/11/nc-state-fair.html

the holiday weekend has begun

i finally had makai di roti & saarso ka saag.
its another restaurant by the same owner that i love in this area. ram has a restaurant called royal india on capital blvd. & ive adored from day one. hes opened up another location in morrisville right next to our catering kitchen & its called royal dhaba. man i love it. the food is always the same & clean. the chicken really is like butter chicken. so hes been telling us punjabi folks to come & try the roti & saag & you know me, im a sucker for some real desi food. had to have it as soon as it opened.
makai ki roti was pretty good & the saag in my opinion was nice too but i think it could use more ginger in it. asides that the mango milkshake was kicking & i could not kick as i was so full in an instant.
i love LOVE authentic desi khana. this is one that is added once again my places to go & eat along with my gol guppa & aloo chaat.
hmmm
what i do crave that no one makes around in nc is maza daar Katlamba as they have in lahore. that sucker is good but heavy.
ok thats it for now.
cant wait to put out the spread for thanksgiving dinner. brought the turkey today as well as the pan roaster. the table shall be full of the spread tom. nite (if all goes well). pics will def. be there. hope you could come to.

los puertos de madrid

i was just thinking

-that because you tell someone you love them doesnt mean that thats it. that you dont ever have to do anything to show or prove that you love them. love isnt just enough said these days. seems as if everyone says "i love you" or "love you babes" or "youre awesome-i love you".

its thrown out so loosely. so affection has to be shown.

-that when someones not talking to you or hasnt said much its not because they are an a-- or a b----. it can be because they dont know where to begin or dont know what to say exactly. it can also be because they dont want to be vulnerable. sometimes you just have to be the one to start.

-that some relationships are worth saving or having around. you may not feel that you miss them much at first but youll miss them soon enough when youre not working or arent busy with time occupying things. eventually youll realize that these relationships have shaped who you are & make you whole. its not worth blowing them off.

-that you can be a real woman or a real man if you keep things in perspective & are actually nice. theres no need to be a meany to get your point across.

sometimes its best to...

sometimes its best to stay quiet & see whats going on around you.
sometimes its best to relish the moments that youre in.
sometimes its best to wait for the other side to make a move.
sometimes its best to put all your duckies in a row.
sometimes its best not to worry about where the heck did the tv remote go-again (it has to be somewhere around here right? but it has been a week already)
sometimes its best to thank god for all your blessings when youre looking right at them.
sometimes its best to wait out hard times.
sometimes its best to listen to your mum.
sometimes its best to tell the truth.
sometimes its best to get out of bed when you cant fall asleep.
sometimes its best to probably try to go to sleep.
sometimes its best to just wonder.
sometimes its best to put the wandering to a hault.
sometimes its best to just be you.
sometimes its best just to be me.

that turned out pretty good-i must say.
sometimes you can write stuff even when you think you dont have much to say.

dahling this ones for you

its perfect timing. i think its wonderful that dahling is coming home so soon. this is plenty of time for any type of trip. its not too long & def enough where at the end you just wish he was home already. this makes me want to write about the letter that ive been wanting to write for our 8th anniversary. yes 8 years of marriage & 9 years of wholesome togetherness. who knew.
theres this lovely sign ive seen in some of those home dec. stores :
all this because two people fell in love.
ahh thats a perfect sign for us. why didnt i get that?!!!
after seeing it all or enough of it what i know for sure is that i couldnt have picked a better man for me. he is wonderful in more ways than one. i really cant even begin to count. but a few that come to mind right away are so simple:
he knows what i want when im in need of it.
he knows when im fussy & dont mean it.
he knows my heart bit by bit.

hes my extra butter to the expensive movie popcorn
hes my milk in my teavana tea each morning
hes my hot salsa to my nacho chips
hes my whipped cream to my orange cranberry scones
hes my sliced onions to my desi food
hes my wontons to my hot & sour soup.
huh funny how all examples have to do with food but you know thats very dear to me.
life feels like a waiting room in the hospital without him.
i can function but i cant run like a well oiled machine without him.
being thru enough makes me beleive that he really is the cherry on top of my strawberry milkshake from chick-fila.
lines from a new song thats perfectly said:

tera saaye mein li haar khushi... (my most fav.)

khil gai meri kismat
paake teri yeh chahat
hum pe meherbaan do jahan...

enough said.

some of ms. s's ramblings as soon as she wakes up lately:

-where are my seashells?
-pappi needs to come home already-he takin' too long
-sparkles needs her wings
-i wanna sleep with you mamma
-i need some wataa my neck is hurting
-im so hungry-i thought you were makin' pancakes already

on the beach in lido

stuff

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iE8MUpIbBA&feature=related
im addicted to this song!
i love it. i have it on repeat.

ishq kai hai kaam purana
chan ban kai chan churana...
so true!

rainy rainy here for the next 3 days.

im wondering if i should try to get ms. s the n1h1 vaccine? should i worry about it? need to research that.
im wondering if i should go get disposables glasses for the wine & cheese party at my house or just go buy some real ones? maybe its worth investing in the real ones.
& im wondering when ill be finished with getting all the trip pictures on the walmart site then published to little scrapbooks. hmmm

oh yeah & me

& my xtra small shalwaar kameez that used to fit perfect but now had to be taken out a few stitches as someones not as skinny anymore-are you happy folks? im a freakin' small now. i like this suit alot.

good weekend

a baby shower, halloween, a birthday party, a goodbye

pretty busy weekend as you can tell.

ms. sofias first time going trick or treating (not dressing up though) was wonderful. i couldnt beleive that i have a child that can do this. i remember just a few years back when i was doing that (yes i did it for fun with my brothers & all of our friends).

dressed up with crazy makeup & a bag ready for free candy going door to door. ahhh the memories.

& now my little girl doing the same. she was absolutley adorable. dressed up as a witch, with her hat too big for her head but still very polite saying thankyou to everyone that gave her candy. she couldnt wait to get home to eat her candy so she was walking with her hand in the loot trying to find some piece better than the last.

this was one of the most lovelist halloween nights as the weather was fabulous. usually its very cold & drizzly. not this time.

after that dahling & i went out for dinner while ms. s went out for a movie with her cousin.

last nites birthday made ms. sofia another fab. friend. they couldnt be seperated. looking at the pictures you would think that it was ms. sofias party as well. it was all bollywood themed. no surprise if youd know whose daughter she was. it was nice going to an old best buds parents house once again. brought back memories. many nites were spent there hanging out. we use to do tuns of sleepovers back then. oh i see it happening soon with my little girl.

dont have any pics for the baby shower as it wasnt for me nor for the goodbye.

the only pic. i do have of the goodbye is where i lay next to him thinking that i love this human being! a whole lot! thats the best picture one can have for anyone.