vegas

thats where we celebrated heart day. this was our first trip ever without ms. s
i was missing her like crazy. though many places little ones cant go to at nite-i wouldve been ok with it. she would have enjoyed all the commotion that place holds everywhere. enjoyed heart day & monday. sunday was ok. we had good company with us so things were a bit more nicer. glad i got to see it. it was unusually cold out there. that still didnt stop me from wearing a dress on heart day. not much of a gambler nor a second hand smoker so i wasnt hanging out in the casinos much. i did however drink & eat all day & nite. fun fun.

a song that im loving from the movie RAAZ
Main Waha Jaha Pe Tu Hai,
Mera Ishq To Junoon Hai
Har Waqt Tu Hi Tu Hai,
Har Sinth Tu Hi Tu HaiO Jaana..
Tum Saath Mere Hardam,
Chaahe Kahi Bhi Hu O Jaana
..Main Waha Jaha Pe Tu Hai,
Mera Ishq To Junoon Hai Din Raat Sochta Hoon,
Tujhe Itna Pyaar Main DuJo Kabhi Utar Na Paaye,
Tujhe Wo Khumar Main Doon
Mujhe Aise Tu Kuch Mila Hai,
Jaise Ke Koi Dua Hai
Tujh pe Koi Aanch Aaye To Main Khud Ko Bhi Jalaalu
Har Din Mujhhi Me Tu Hai,
Har Shab Mujhe Me Tu Hai
Main Waha Jaha Pe Tu Hai,
Mera Ishq To Junoon Hai
Har Pal Tujhe Sambhalu,
Tere Saare Gham Uthalu
Mera Dil To Yehi Chaahe,
Tujhe Rooh Mein Saja Loon
Tera Aks Noor Sa Hai,
Tu Ek Suroor Sa Hai
Dil Kash Teri Ada Ka,
Har Lamha Mein Churalu
Har Dam Khudi Mein Tu Hai,
Meri Bekhudi Mein Tu Hai
O Jaana..Main Waha Jaha Pe Tu Hai,
Mera Ishq To Junoon Hai O Jaana.. O Jaana..& the mahi song is pretty good as well
listen to them, they sound good & not too depressing!

im sitting at home. right before my eyes friday nite has turned to sat morning. 12:12 am. whoa.as folks party away, get drunk, hang with their posse, are returning home from a nite out at some lovely restaurant, im sitting here feeling pretty dayam alone & old. i know that we all feel that way sometime or another but tonite im feeling that way. i feel more so uncool than anything. i get on facebook for the heck of it as most people do & it seems like the whole world is just so hip & cool & busy with their lovely & dandy lives. its kinda sickening. everyones so into their deal. whats the point in flaunting it all. dayam technology. its crazy how folks can have 318 friends on that sucker & still know who is in what part of the world. & when they got back. heh.i know that youre only going to have a grand social life if you go out & make the effort but lately i find this so tiresome. i feel like i dont have enough time to just fold up the laundry (which is done in installments thru out the week) once im in the routine of things during the week so forget chillin' with my homegirls. LOL & then taking pictures to post up. you see-im getting old. ahhh that was bound to happen i guess.all i know is that i have a husband & chatterbox of a baby resting peacefully so they can get up & share the new day coming up with me. theres alot of peace in that & as well as stability. thats not for everyone these days. thats what my friday nites have come to now. im not complaining. im just reassuring myself. everything with time is what my mom says. this too then.its funny how we work our butts off to get to a certain point in our lives & once we reach that goal, we savor it for a little bit but then were restless again. we need more. sometimes theres not much more we need but it feels that way. isnt it funny how we simply cant relax & nourish ourselves off of the fruit thats hanging off the vines of our life?!!! humans are so funny that way.one more thing-isnt it funny how some relationships in our lives arent made by any specific union (like marriage or blood) & yet there is no name for them but they can mean the world to you? sometimes to some they are the world & yet to try to name that relationship/rishta-you feel like there arent words invented that give it that full meaning. & the ones that are out there are words that you are hesitent to whisper as they hold a meaning of filth. (im thinking about this in my language) hmmm

i heart ny

my elementary school.

i do. we went there to visit dahlings father who just got back from pakiland. but we went a couple days early so we have the weekend to hang out. we decided to drive out there & that worked out really well since i only had to drive for 2 hrs. & when i thought it was my turn again, we were crossing the bridge & then onto belt parkway heading towards his house & my way old neighborhood.
after catching up on some zzzs we took the car out to the city & found parking a little further down & then just caught cabs upto where we wanted to hop around. my first stop fao schwartz. i love that freakin' toy store. its magical! i get lost in that place. & this time when we arrived at the nursery there was a really pretty nurse (who dahling was more entrigued with then ms. s) that sang happy birthday in the most meledious voice you would ever expect to a little girl that came to shop there for her birthday(upper east siders -odcourse). her dad complimented the nurse on that & she let us know that shes auditioning for broadway. nice place to advertise, dont you think.
ah the place was just fab as always. ms. s was loving the step-on piano which you can purchase for your child to take home for a mere $244,000.00 dollars. lets hope that you can distract your child from that one.
i wanted to stay in there & put a tent up but after spending more than 2 hours there we decided to walk up 5th avenue. & what do you know, the store that ms. s had to go in was tiffanys. she was very persistent. her dad swiftly turned her onto some candy bought fresh from the previous store & didnt even bother to look for my reaction. ;-) he said shes not ready for that. a smart one.
we ended up walking from rockefeller center upto times square in search of a local restaurant to eat & grab a drink at only to end up at the hard rock cafe due to rumbling tummies & freezing weather. lovely first nite.
2nd nite was a very memorable one since the little one was being watched by his sister & kids which gave us a whole nite & morning out. we started at greenwich village where we made our way from a wonderful bakery that had whatever you wanted plus more done up just beautifully to a noodle bar that had the best fried tofu tod i ever had. then to a couple of the lovely & not so lovely shops there (for couples & some freaks only) to hunt for dress shoes at 10:30 pm since dance clubs have a dress code even in ny. fun stuff.
we met a friend thats a dj at one of those places & had a crazy nite. he used to live in the same neighborhood (in fact the same street as dahlings with whom my family were really good friends with who i hadnt seen in a few years). dahling had more fun than i had bargained for but memorable it was. i still cant help but laugh when i think of all the "brothers" he had that nite along with the circles he was walking-counter clockwise. LOLits all good hun. i told you ill love you no matter what. we strolled in at 6 am in the morning & we have yet to hear back from our friend who witnessed all the fun that we had. we only wanted to thank him for his lovely hospitality :-)
we went into the city again a day later where we let ms. s play at a public park there with all the uppity kids. i loved sitting there & observing all the hip moms, the nannies & their mismatched kids (yeah & those outfits are priceyyyyy). it was awesome.
we walked out of there to an organic bread place le pain quotidien where we had an organic & wholesome tartine that was pretty cute. ricotta cheese with figs & organic honey & other stuff.

we then walked around where some shops like fresh, ralph lauren & other stores were until we reached the meatpacking district. we found a hip looking place called highline where we had decent thai food. & after that we called it a nite.

the rest of the days there were pretty good too. i roamed the streets as much as i could keeping warm by always having my green tea latte close by. its still so hard to believe that you can just walk to the starbucks there. i mean there used to be a gift shop right in that same spot. i used to walk up & down those streets when i lived in brooklyn. who knew?!!
we drove home when it started to snow quite a bit. & here we are. it felt nice hanging out there. & it was real nice getting a glimpse of the life one can have in the city. it seems so fab & enthrilling. it seems fun & rad too. but its another style of life. i dont know if i can live in a crammed apartment where the rent is out of the roof & youre worried about where you should park due to the millions of signs up that let you know that today is not the day for you to park here. i dunno. maybe i could but maybe i dont want to. the city is everything you want from it. it can be dirty, magical, eerie, yucky, beautiful, lively-what ever you want it to be. & sometimes it can be all of those at the same time. its a place that really doesnt rest. i discover so many new things there every time i go & ive been there plenty. i never get enough of it. thats ny for you.

i know there are trade-offs that are there for almost anything in this world. for now, i think ill trade off the traffic & discomfort for fresh air & my big ol' bed. maybe i am getting old. who knows?!!& another thing, you can love whatever you want as much as you want as many as you want.i love nc as thats been my home for ages now but i still heart ny.

-when they say that they are glad that its over are they really glad or is it to ease the pain from the loss?
-when someone misses you, do they miss you for all of you or is it because they are lacking something in their life & they think that you can provide that missing link that will make them feel complete?
-how does love feel when its dying inside you?-does it turn into some other really strong feeling or it just fades away?
-is it better to be friends or have no relationship at all?
-can you melt old candles with wicks that have burnt out & make a new one that looks & feels like new without alot of trouble?
-when you say "whatever" or any other single word a whole lot, do you actually mean that word or are just trying to hide a feeling that you just havent catagorized yet?
-can you really have an open and honest relationship without hurting your loved one or losing them completely in the process?
-can you live a life full of joy without being a wee bit selfish?
-how long does joy last anyway?
-should you just make another baby just so your first one can have company? (& ive heard alot of that as being a really good reason for why people do it but i still need to wonder)
-can a change of scenery help the mind ease whats going on in it?-will you be able to trust someone again the way you did in season 1 of your life?
-why cant we just love someone for what they are as well as what they want & then just let them be free with the option of coming back because it really is meant to be? (they can have that playcard too to use just to be on the fair side)
-why is it that its all so freakin' hard?
answers are so appreciated-they can be made anony. too

ive been upto almost... nothing.
been watching desperate housewives since season 1 disc 3
trying to work at the salon here & there when needed.
been working on just dealing with ms. s' terrible twos as much as possible.
shes learnt to climb out her crib from the lowest setting possible (the mattress on

the floor in the crib) fun stuff with the little creeper running, opening the door to our

bedroom & crawling into bed with us @ 1 in the am.
anyhow asides that... i think thru out the day about all the stuff i can write about

when certain things are happening thru out the week but then i forget.
isnt it funny how folks tend to fall in love with someone we only spent a few

moments with. think its because you rarely get the time you need to get to know the

real person that you only have a general view of. if you were to spend a few more

normal moments with them, you may not feel the same. hmmm
why is it that subjects that get on our nerves are the ones we tend to attract most

into our lives?
so much more later.

sometimes its best to just stick to what you know & that knows you.
sometimes its best to just stick it out for as long as you can.
sometimes its best to just stick to those that you love & that love you.
sometimes its best to just stick to "it is what it is".