a forwarded message

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.It is the most-requested column I've ever written.My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others.You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Every thing can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take nofor an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years,will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time some time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anythingyou did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

my daily tea ritual

boil water in my paki pot, then steep lose black tea (a mix of almond biscotti & thai tea) in 1 0f my many teapots. after 3 mins. tea is poured into a huge mug w/ a splash of milk. enjoyed with my morning cakes or cookies. it smells delicious.

ms s & her tutu @ home

ms s & her tutu @ the park

ms s & her tutu when going out

my hair black, blue & pink

cuz lifes too short not to have fun with your hair.

as you walk up to my door

-you will see these signs -this railing whose outside has these luscious roses planted.

-the entrance -the porch up front -the windchimes above

-w/ the welcome mat saying the same -then the quote on top of the entrance

-w/ 2 special handmade wooden boards w/ religious names -a huge window atop that lets in tuns of light in the foyer

take it or leave it

im my mothers daughter & my daughter is mine. its that simple.

ebbs & flows, perfection & flaws, pretty & ugly, big & small, dreamer & earther, loud & hush, confused & firm, loving & questionable, honest & well; blunt, inviting & shuting out, hyped up & lazy, reliable & hmmm, creative & normal, emotional & sensible, clean & dirty, mars & earth, responsible & free.

we are all of that plus more. thats just the way it is.

at a walk

after doing the days daily grind i took a walk along with dahling & ms. s in the neighborhood. it felt nice to do that after a while to admire folks front lawns. all the flowers & the shrubs planted with so much care. it was all lovely. as i passed along the mailboxes covered in the seasonal floral bushes i was sent back to walks taken in pakistan a long while ago in my aunts old neighborhood. i remember how i walked there while watching the in house gardeners doing what they knew best. smelling the wet pavement from the watering alongside the smell of gardenias & jasmine that must have been planted in big batches as the scent lingered the air way past the house. it all somehow came back to mind. i remember seeing ordinary folks jogging along as it had cooled down in the time where theres enough light but not really dark enough to not be out any longer. surely even then i knew that i was a visitor in that city yet i felt like i belonged wearing my shalwaar kameez & chapals trotting along with family after a huge desi food feast. i was even then a keen observor of the little things that life has in store for us on a daily basis.

i wish i could go back in time & take pictures of what i can see clearly even now.

they say a scent can take you down memory lane & that has been the case today.

ofcourse this one memory took me to several other walks i had taken along with my moms side of the family. my aunties then young & still possesive of a bit of innocense along with my grandma. sometimes whoever was over at their house too would accompany us (especially since kikki-my moms nickname & her kids were visiting) including my beloved then girl cousin. oh how we would walk way past the grownups holding the hands of a tiny cousin (to show we were being of some use) so we can talk about our crushes & sweethearts sometimes had no idea that was the case. i remember the cotton kameez sticking lightly to my back because we walked ahead so quickly & the tiny bead of sweat on my upper lip which the welcomed breeze cooled away. & then the finale of the walk-a limeade type of drink from a glass soda bottle mixed with a little black salt.
ahh childhood & the start of the need of friendship & for someone to share your hearts content with on a simple walk.
some things as simple as this are so classy.

welcome to the salon

im really hating:
`selfish people
`unfriendly folks
`money hungry ones
`"matalabi" young-uns
`unsharing peeps

im really really hating:
`it when i figure out that youre trying to pass time & this is the way youre going to do it
`it when i cant be with the ones i adore for whatever reasons
`it when people around you take advantage of all that you have offered & milk it even more
`it when i figure out the dirty truth & they are still trying to conceal it
`how my laptops given up with the net & i cant live without it



im loving:
`my dahling made swing in the backyard
`the gardening in the back
`the fact that someone told me that life just is what you make of it & then when you stop `wanting things its done with
`you
`ms. s dancing & singing & kissing herself in the mirror

the self help taco & burrito bar w/ all the fixins.

the serve station w/ a pitcher ready for virgin margaritas & a fridge full of sodas & beer.

& a clean house to go with that waiting for friends to come over.