happy 9th to my beloved

i hope micheal jackson rests in peace.
i cant believe how short life can be & it just makes me feel that one must live it to the fullest as you never know when it will end. its too too short is what i keep feeling. you must do what makes you happy but sometimes that step is hard to make.

farah fawcett too. may she RIP. beautiful woman! cancer sucks!

i went to someones house & it was lovely. you could feel the love there. or altleast you could feel the love that built the house there. they had 2 boys & 1 girl who have their own kids now. & it was nice. you could see that this house is always filled with people. & im sure they all have problems but its a central point to meet & who doesnt have problems?!! & its a blessing to have that. these 2 people got together & they created this together. & its nice.
the girl said that with all this chaos all over she wouldnt know how else to have it.asides that mother & daughter run a buisness together as well.
just right. they have done their fair share of helping out as well as enjoying themselves. its just nice. it was a well established house with enough chaos to make the couple sleep well at night.

they have it balanced .

many times we set ourselves to have all that but something comes in the way & youre blown down-for a little bit. & you feel like you may never get back up the way it was & that strong but you just dont know whats in store for you.
maybe youll get up stronger.
maybe youll get up & know youre better than all this.
maybe itll make you the best that you can be.
maybe this was the way it was suppose to be to make you realize the worth of it all.
maybe...

i cant believe that its been 9 years since we have been together. i just cant believe it. i heard your voice on the phone the first time & felt like i could be open with you without any judgements. but then when i met you on june 22nd of 2000 i knew i could spend years & years with you all safe & loved.
i just knew that it would take a little bit of input to have a huge output.
i knew that you were worth conquering.
i knew that i was safe with you.
i always felt that you were home.
i knew that you were the one that i had to marry.
thankyou for being home to me. you have no idea how good it feels to come home everyday.
i love you & thats as plain & as complicated as it can be.
can you believe it?
who needs flowers & presents & cards when you just have the presence of one another in your life?!!!

have you ever seen a baby ghost?

thats as scary as can be that smells like baby powder?!!

yup i turned around & shreiked when i saw this little thing come my way the other day,

i couldnt stop laughing either.

a couple of you tube videos im watching

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTxnqUhhlIY
a song i remember singing at the beach

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cb8RbZCURg&feature=related
a song i want to sing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOU3oLbrPUY&feature=related
a song i can hope for

whats up.

so fathers day was spent nicely & sadly enough theres still an IOU for dahling/papi.
but my daddy was covered.
today i spent the day waking up too early to take the car in for all over tune up including 2 new tires that just took too much money out of my wallet. then off we were to an appointment for
ms. s. she also received her mmr shot today which i had been holding back on for over a year due to the rumors of autism being caused. the doc provided me with all the stats & so i guess it was go for the shot that was given in ms. s' left thigh. oh she was brave after the big shreik & crying.
as i watched her getting her blood pressure read with that thing on her arm, my heart sank for those children that are in hospitals all day long for days even weeks for something so serious that they have to have things attatched to them for monitoring purposes or just for an everyday checkup. my heart goes out to them & their families. i cannot imagine seeing your own flesh & blood sick & you cant do anything about it
i also watched priceless last nite which was a pretty cute french film. it was worth the subtitles & the hour an half of going to sleep late.
talking of sleep-i got very little sleep last nite.

2 pairs of shoes, a handbag that matches the stillettos, jeans, 2 dresses, some personal VS stuff, a bright green t-shirt, a black shrug, 2 black shirts & a few more bucks out the wallet made me feel like life is pretty normal once again.
ofcourse ms. s has had alot of shopping done too lately which include 7/8 pretty dresses, few new pairs of shoes & some cute shirts.

now im watching new in town & hoping ms. s will fall asleep soon enough as shes been pretty whiny lately.
went out today to look for a new dishwasher & a micro/oven combo to join me in my renovation of the kitchen. i cant wait for the new snazzy stainless steel appliances. but were still out & about searching for a good deal. bound to be one out there.

me & ms. s

my new fav song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUAQdD3vfMI

i cant find the lyrics & they are in punjabi so its hard to type out.

i miss him-
alot these days.
the fights, the fun, the yelling, the car rides, the singing, the crying, the laughing till it hurts, the talks at 2 in the am, the marriage talks, eating out, the shopping, admitting the truth, the camaraderie between us, happiness expressed for one another without using words, & all the stupid stuff.

life is F***** U*!!!